Strycher's Blog

GenX2K

2007-10-14T16:12:00.001-04:00

Don't forget, my blog moved to:

http://www.genx2k.com/blog/

Alcohol Knowledge Test Results

2007-05-20T16:22:00.001-04:00

Your Score: Bacardi 151

Congratulations! You're 148 proof, with specific scores in beer (80) , wine (100), and liquor (130).

All right. No more messing around. Your knowledge of alcohol is so high that you have drinking and getting plastered down to a science. Sure, you could get wasted drinking beer, but who needs all those trips to the bathroom? You head straight for the bar and pick up that which is most efficient.

Link: The Alcohol Knowledge Test written by hoppersplit on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Intuition Test

2007-04-10T18:48:00.001-04:00

Very Well-Rounded

You have:
70% SCIENTIFIC INTUITION and
70% EMOTIONAL INTUITION

The graph on the right represents your place in Intuition 2-Space. As you can see, you scored above average on emotional intuition and above average on scientific intuition. (Weirdly, your emotional and scientific intuitions are equally strong.)

Your Emotional Intuition score is a measure of how well you understand people, especially their unspoken needs and sympathies. A high score score usually indicates social grace and persuasiveness. A low score usually means you're good at Quake.

Your Scientific Intuition score tells you how in tune you are with the world around you; how well you understand your physical and intellectual environment. People with high scores here are apt to succeed in business and, of course, the sciences.

Try my other test!
The 3 Variable Funny Test
It rules.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 56% on Scientific
You scored higher than 61% on Interpersonal

Link: The 2-Variable Intuition Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

My Type of Girl

2007-04-10T18:40:00.001-04:00

The Debutante

47% Sexy-Cute, 53% Dark-Light, 66% Artsy-Stylish

Cute, neither Dark nor Light, and Stylish, you'll find the Debutante at high-class New York parties, making the rounds. She'll have a glass of champagne in one gloved hand, her hair perfectly coifed, her makeup exactingly applied. Her slinky, perfect little black dress keeps many an eye firmly on her, wondering what lies beneath.

If you liked my test, Please rate it highly! Thanks!

Also, make sure to check out my Beautiful Faces Test if you haven't already.

See All The Categories

Sexy	Dark	Artsy	The Goth Girl
Sexy	Dark	Not Artsy or Stylish	The Brooding Poet
Sexy	Dark	Stylish	The Mistress
Sexy	Not Dark or Light	Artsy	The Hippie Chick
Sexy	Not Dark or Light	Not Artsy or Stylish	The Hot Friend
Sexy	Not Dark or Light	Stylish	The Sorority Girl
Sexy	Light	Artsy	The Actress
Sexy	Light	Not Artsy or Stylish	Your Friend's Sister
Sexy	Light	Stylish	The Prom Queen
Cute	Dark	Artsy	The Suicide Girl
Cute	Dark	Not Artsy or Stylish	The Bad Girl
Cute	Dark	Stylish	The Bettie Page Girl
Cute	Not Dark or Light	Artsy	The Art Student
Cute	Not Dark or Light	Not Artsy or Stylish	The Girl Next Door
Cute	Not Dark or Light	Stylish	The Debutante
Cute	Light	Artsy	The New Age chick
Cute	Light	Not Artsy or Stylish	The Favorite Friend
Cute	Light	Stylish	The Cheerleader

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 40% on Sexy-Cute
You scored higher than 47% on Dark-Light
You scored higher than 90% on Artsy-Stylish

Link: The Your Type of Girl Test written by dgc20e on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

My Socio-Political Type

2007-04-10T18:14:00.001-04:00

You are a
Social Moderate
(55% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(36% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Centrist

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Isn't it ironic how pathetic blogging really is?

2007-04-10T02:08:00.001-04:00

You know, I fought the flow of the stream for a long time and could not convince myself to actually invest effort in blogging. I think that as a general rule, what we all post is mostly sycophantic drivel intended to make ourselves feel better. The irony is, whether anyone agrees with our posts or reads them, it actually does make us feel better. Why is that? Probably the cathartic release associated with just getting something off your chest.

I went through a bad bout of depression recently. I felt like I had no outlet, like I had nowhere to just speak my mind. Somewhere along the way, I found a couple of friends that would let me bend their ear, and then I started blogging. Between the two, I am a much better adjusted person, and able to deal with more of the world around me than I was, say, a few months ago.

What am I saying? I guess, bring on the drivel. Get it all off your chest and out in the open. You will feel so much better, and feel like you can face the day with a little more stable emotional state. Gotta love it, now I'm off to bed.

The Law of Unintended Consequences

2007-04-10T01:50:00.001-04:00

I have been pondering choice quite a bit recently. Choice drives so much of our life, and how we experience it, and our recognition of our choices has much to do with our acceptance of it. Tonight though, the Law of Unintended Consequences comes to mind, and I want to try to capture some thoughts about it.

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, according to Sir Isaac Newton. Every choice has consequences and ramifications, which in my mind correlates to the economic concept of opportunity cost. Opportunity cost is defined as the choice not accepted, or that which we forgo for the choice we have made. However, each choice has a trickle-down effect, and we often are not cognizant of that effect.

I bring as an example a co-worker. This co-worker and I have historically disagreed and had significant conflict. The central core of our disagreement is that while he means well, and is very passionate about the same things I am, he has limited awareness of the trickle-down effect of his actions and decisions. For example, in establishing a needed customer portal, he did not put any thought into who would have to perform the long-term maintenance of that portal, nor the cost associated with it. The Law of Unintended Consequences kicks in, and now our firm has to support a portal that should have been charged to the customer, and we have to do it at our own cost, because it was not negotiated with the customer.

This same concept applies to relationships, which is another hot topic on my mind. Say I am interested in someone. Say she is not interested in me at this time. Say someone else is interested in me, but I am less interested in her than the first woman. This trickle-down effect has an unintended consequence of making a number of people unhappy because we were looking in the wrong direction at the wrong time. Ultimately, we will all go and complain to someone else about how miserable dating is, but never acknowledge the opportunity cost we passed up because we were focused on an (at that time) unattainable goal. The Law of Unintended Consequences says that we did not intend to cause this chain reaction of disappointment, and yet our choices created that chain and maintained it for some period of time.

Is it possible to always be cognizant of the chain reaction of our choices? No. Is it reasonable to be concerned about the full effects of the Law in every decision? No. However, when it comes to important decisions, particularly where there are ramifications with friends and acquaintances that we care about, we should at least consider the consequences that inevitably arise.

Where do you stand on this? Are you cognizant of the Law, or is it a new concept to you? How does this apply to your own life?

I go back to where I was on an earlier post on my blog about two years ago. The Platinum Rule, which overrides the Golden Rule in my mind. Do unto others as they would have done unto them. Think about what they want, and become a servant leader. See how this fits with a life led by integrity, cognizant of the Law of Unintended Consequences, and aware of, and considerate of, others' needs. A little more of this, and the world would be a much happier, much more peaceful, place.

Rebounds and Anti-Rebounds

2007-04-10T01:35:00.001-04:00

I'm not sure whether rebound relationships are worse, or the penny ante antics that people pull when they are deliberately or subconsciously avoiding commitment. Rebounds certainly have their challenges, as there is inevitably someone that gets hurt, if not both sides. But I propose that the alternate can be far worse.

Think of it this way: say a man starts falling for a woman he has been seeing. Sometime after they start seeing each other, the woman says that she is not interested in anything, and that the other person may be someone she would be interested in, but not right now. The man watches this woman bounce from man to man, not really getting serious, not necessarily being promiscuous. The man makes it clear that he is willing to put into it whatever is required, but she just takes advantage of it, asking for help, getting attention, but providing little in return. Eventually, this man will walk away hurt and upset because he was willing, and the other person was too busy reliving her youth.

Which is worse? A rebound relationship built on false pretenses, or a relationship that never gets off the ground because of the immaturity of the other? The rebound relationship is certainly harder to discern at the outset, though not impossible. The other relationship is easier to identify, but more life sucking because the man thinks that he has a chance.

Honesty is not limited to fact. Honesty ties into integrity, and it has not to do with just the words, but also the actions of the individual. I may be factually honest in my words, but show little integrity in my actions by taking advantage of the interest of the other. This is neither appropriate, nor healthy.

In the end, we should probably avoid both types of relationships where we can. However, we are human and we do tend to get ourselves into nice little messes along the way. My guidance is this: enter into no relationship that you are not willing to accept the risk of being hurt or losing out. Live life, regret nothing, but never forget your own needs and desires along the way.

Choice, Vision, and Mission, Part 1

2007-04-08T01:23:00.001-04:00

Cats are the coolest thing in the world. I sat here for a bit trying to figure out what to write, and Ollie showed up and flopped down on my shoulder and is watching my screen as I write this. It's always when you most need a friend that a cat shows up and reminds you that you're loved. Ollie is really good at that tactic, coming and loving me when I need a friend. Chip is more..... demanding, for him it's more about what he needs than what I need.

On a different topic, I would like to share some thoughts about choice today. The temptation is always to put the blame for things externally without taking responsibility for our choices. For example, people will be upset that they cannot find someone special, but they fail to acknowledge the choices they made that led them there. They will choose not to ignore that there were interested people that reached out to them, but that fell outside their selection criteria. Perhaps the criteria set too high of a bar, or perhaps the criteria was incongruent with their real desires. Either way, many people wander through life looking for that magical something and failing to find it because it is right in front of them. Why? Because we are short-sighted people that fail to see the comprehensive picture of our future.

Vision does not only apply to business. Vision and mission both apply to our personal lives, apply to how we approach the attainment of our goals and desires. But our vision is faulty -- we miss the simple things because we are too caught up in false goals, ideas that are either unattainable, or ideas that are only attainable after we achieve shorter-term goals that never receive the focus.

I am guilty of all of this as well from time to time. But I ask you this? Are you really interested in finding someone? Is it possible that we have skewed perspectives? I think so. I cannot understand how someone could say "all I want is a nice guy (or girl)" and then ignore them. I love the movie Just Friends. The premise of the movie are high school friends, where the boy has a crush on the girl, are "just friends", and how in their adult years they deal with the ramifications of their high school choices. How often does this play out in the real world? Every day. Each one of us has had a friendship or relationship like that. And ultimately, do we not inevitably miss out on something when we do that?

I'm also amazed at how quick people are to make judgments and misunderstand situations. I told someone tonight that I was screwing around, and she took it literally. I'm sorry, I'm just not that much of a ho. Is it really so important for all of us to be so judgmental and sensitive to offhand comments?

I hope you all have a good night. I think I've had enough for the night.

Interpersonal Relationships

2007-04-04T01:00:00.001-04:00

So, a number of things strike me as interesting tonight.  I am going to try to put out a clear, concise post, but I know that I have no business doing so at this hour.  Pardon my ramblings.

First, I realized that people are messed up.  I say that because I fail to fathom how someone can say that they want to be friends, and then cut ties because they cannot have your undivided, devoted attention every minute you are around.  Call it obsessive, call me an ass, but I am not a one-person man.  I have many friends, and I try to share time with all of them, as best I can.  Sometimes, too, I have needs, and I need to talk with a specific person about something -- even though another good friend may be on.  Obsessive people confound me, and I was face-to-face with a freak tonight.  Honesty does not mean telling everything, every time.  Honesty is being honest about the things you are saying, and not deceiving someone by withholding important information.  During the initial stages of friendship, it is reasonable that some things may not be out in the open -- deal with it.  We all do it, and there is nothing wrong with taking time to develop a friendship.  Sometimes, along the way, we find that someone we thought we could be friends with we cannot.  In those cases, do you really want someone knowing all your dirty laundry?

I also came to a new acceptance this week that, when you care about someone, you have to let them go.  You have to let them go, and if they return of their own volition, then they are yours.  If they do not, then it was not meant to be.  I am not necessarily talking about love -- it can apply to friendship too.  I am finding myself challenged daily with this situation, finding that I have to have faith, and let go, if I want to have any sort of deep friendship with some people.  It is a dangerous game to play, especially when you find yourself becoming emotionally invested.  It is also hard to do, because when you are happy and enjoying yourself, you want nothing more than to have more of that addictive drug "happiness".  But the sad truth is, to get what you really want, you need to be patient, persevere, and hope that things work out the way you want.

I have loved twice and lost.  I have married once, to a woman that I might have loved, but cannot recall due to the bitterness we both now have.  I am hoping that the next time around, things work out differently.  I am trying to take a different approach to life, trying very hard to be patient and persevere -- not my strong suits in my personal life.  So far, I am more calm and happy than I have been in the past, but I still feel those jerks in me that say, "wake up, chase after what you want, no holds barred".  I know that will not succeed, and so I usually am able to contain myself, but it is still hard.

I am ending my day talking with a new friend from Australia.  What an interesting conversation it is.  We are discussing friendship, love, and wandering the countryside in terms of how we handle our relationships with others.  It is odd to me, though, that I, who am highly messed up, have a clearer understanding of who I am, where I am going, and who I want to be, than people who are more stable emotionally and mentally than I am.  It may be a crisis of identity -- we all go through it at some point.  I find that I am very comfortable embracing the identity that I have developed, even if it is not always the behavior I would like to display.  The true irony of the conversation, though, is the things she loves about her friendship with one person equally apply to us, but she is unaware of that fact, as if blinded by the newness.  What irony is that?

So, I go to sleep, continuing to ponder.  Where is it we are all going, and why is it that we have so much trouble relating to each other?  There is a whole series of posts to be made on that topic, but I have to say, we are very distrustful beings sometimes.  A little love would do the world good.

Shroud of Turin - March 24, 2005

2007-03-25T12:32:00.001-04:00

Fresh Claim that Shroud of Turin is Fake
Wilson's Web Site
Porter's Webs Site

Do you believe that the Shroud of Turin is real or not? Does it affect your faith?

Wilson argues that the Shroud is a fake, though he has no scientific evidence to support it. However, even if it is fake, Wilson claims that it does not affect his beliefs about the resurrection. He believes Jesus died and arose, whether the Shroud of Turin plays into the reality of that event or not.

But what about you? Have you ever heard of the Shroud of Turin? How does it affect your beliefs?

To me, the New Testament and Jesus' life do not have to be scientifically proven for me to believe. Likewise, the flood, the Garden of Eden, creation -- these are aspects of my faith that I believe because I believe, not because you can prove them to me scientifically.

How often we get hung up on scientific evidence and the need to prove or disprove aspects of our faith and Christianity. I am still young, but I am fairly certain that that is not the point of faith and belief. We are supposed to believe, sometimes in spite of direct evidence to the contrary.

Who knows what they will decide on the Shroud of Turin, whether it is authentic or not. But for me, it does not really matter in terms of my belief.

West Wing - March 23, 2005

2007-03-25T12:25:00.003-04:00

And so the social commentary continues. Topics for tonight included:

Raising the Federal minimum wage

Abortion

Religion as a criteria for electing officials

Corruption in government

Corruption in political campaigns

So
raising the Federal minimum wage, that is a big issue, but something
that surprisingly our real politicians seem unwilling or unable to do
anything about. I continue to wonder why we are not talking about a
"living wage," but perhaps that will be another episode.

Abortion -- I am not even going to touch this one.

Religion
as a criteria for electing officials. Corruption in political
campaigns. Interesting topics. I am not surprised that people are
concerned about the morality of their elected officials. I am not
particularly surprised that they are interested in the worship habits
of their elected representatives. What I am surprised at is that the
populace are so easily sucked in at an obvious photo op where an
elected official, such as President Bush, makes a point of obvious
religious behavior, without any true demonstration of their faith. I
think that it is easy to stand in front of a camera and microphone and
talk about Christian values, but where are those values when you sent
our troops overseas to fight a war we did not need to be fighting at
that time, if at all? Where are your Christian values when it comes to
giving to charitable organizations? Do we really believe that Bush
gives until it hurts? When is faith going to be what it is supposed to
be, instead of a tool to get more votes?

What an interesting and thought-provoking evening of television it has been.

Social Commentary

2007-03-25T12:25:00.001-04:00

Yet another repost, deriving from March 23, 2005.

I find it interesting how "coincidental"
things can be sometimes. With Terry Schiavo being one of the hottest
news items, we find that tonight's eposide of American Dreams is
about Jack's decision whether to keep his brother alive on a respirator
after a brain-damaging accident. I wonder whether this is intentional
or not. Interestingly, Jack relays to his wife verbally that he wants
to be taken off the machine if it happens to him.

So what is the message? Are they commenting on Terry's right to die? Or are they commenting that she should be saved?

West Wing
has a habit of commenting on the social/political issues of the day.
They seem to be very current on what the issues are, and they have a
distinctly liberal view of how the problems should be solved. And
perhaps they are not so incorrect about their assessments.
Surprisingly, the real government does not seem to take its cue from West Wing, no matter how right their commentary on the issue may be.

Television
and the movies have a profound ability to communicate about
social/political/economic issues. These mediums have the ability to
reach a broader spectrum of the masses than even the news does, and
they do it subtly, almost submliminally. We watch, eyes glued to the
screen, and usually only later (if at all) do we analyze that which we
have watched. Particularly among our youth, peoples' views are formed
based on what they watch and are conditioned to accept based on what
they have seen. The power that television and movies have over the
masses is unbelievable, and almost scary.

Do I really think that
people are so mind-numbed that any idea professed on the TV is
automatically accepted? No. But when you watch it over and over, on
show after show, movie after movie, you become conditioned to the view,
to what you are watching, and gradually a greater acceptance for it
sinks in. Once upon a time, a television show about a gay person was
unheard of. Now, one of the most popular TV shows is Will Grace,
which has two gay main characters. I do not think that that means
society as a whole has become significantly more accepting and
understanding of gay relationships. But given time, who knows what will
happen?

So almost 30 minutes later, and they did pull the plug
on Jack's brother. Commentary? I suspect so. But will the right people
hear this message, and take it to heart? Unlikely. Sadly, most people
who watch this episode will fail to draw the correlation with Terry
Schiavo. What a shame.

Called to Christianity

2007-03-25T12:24:00.001-04:00

Yet another repost. This one derives from March 22, 2005.

I think we, as humans, have difficulty understanding what Christianity
really is. We spend significant amounts of time trying to interpret and
define that Christianity, whether we acknowledge we are doing that or
not. So many Christians are convinced that Christianity is clear-cut,
black and white. And maybe in some ways it is, but probably not in the
ways most of us think that it is.

Let me argue for a moment. If
I describe an object as "blue", what "blue" do you picture? Is it
necessarily the same blue that I saw? What if I saw sapphire blue, and
you perceive it as teal? Have I accurately conveyed to you the exact
shade of blue? Even if I were more explicit, without spectral analysis
values, accurately describing the shade of blue is next to impossible.

And
yet, many people argue that the language of the Bible is literal, even
while recognizing that it is translated from a language that has four
different words for our single word "love". People believe that the
Bible is to be taken literally in its full completeness, except where
it would challenge how they live their lives. For example, if you
accept that the Bible must be taken literally, you cannot interpret
away the myriad of laws laid out in the Old Testament.

Can you
really take the Bible literally in its entirety? Can you really abide
by everything the Bible states? And is that necessarily the point of
the Bible in the first place?

I think the clarity that I have
personally found is contained within two statements Jesus made. First,
love God above all things. Second, love your neighbor as yourself.

The
first statement is pretty clear, though difficult to follow perhaps. It
is not easy to always put God first, and to love him above all things.
One of the hardest things for us to do is "let go, and let God," yet we
are called by God to do so. We may be slow to acknowledge it, but God
is ever present, guiding us, molding us into the people he wants us to
be, if we would just let him.

The second statement is also hard
to follow, and perhaps not as clear when we look beneath the surface.
Loving your neighbor does not mean always saying "yes." Sometimes,
loving your neighbor can fall into the "tough love" category, where you
provide support, but advise a different direction. I have certainly
experienced some "no" experiences in my life, both where God told me
"no," as well as where friends and family have as well. That does not
mean they did not love me -- in fact, it derives from their love.

Part
of what got me thinking about this topic is Terry Schiavo. Terry
Schiavo, as we are probably all aware, is the topic of heated political
debate and judicial battles. While Christians are arguing about her
right to life, they are not asking what kind of life it is. Terry is
vegetable with no hope of recovery, whatsoever. The news media is an
unwitting (or perhaps willing) accomplice in keeping Terry alive
against her verbally expressed wishes. Even if she were to continue
living, what kind of life is it? Do you really think that she is there,
locked up inside, able to enjoy a bedridden life, surviving only by the
aid of a feeding tube? Do you honestly think that it is a loving
gesture to keep her alive in this state?

Mind you, I use Terry
Schiavo as an example. I could as easily use as an example the stranded
motorist on the side of the road that you ignore as you drive past at
70mph. Or the homeless person asking for 50 cents for a meal. Or the
neighbor that needs help shoveling the snow from their drive after a
snowstorm. Whatever the example, do you really love your neighbor as
yourself?

Someone proposed to me the "Platinum Rule" instead of
the "Golden Rule." Instead of treating others as we would want to be
treated, perhaps we should treat them as they would want to be treated.
I mean, do you really think your spouse wants to watch all of the same
TV shows as you? I know I drive my wife crazy with some of the shows I
watch on TV. Try to apply the Platinum Rule in your dealings with
others, and perhaps the world will be a little better place in the
future.

Organizational Confusion, Inefficiency and Struggle - Part 2 (2007)

2007-03-25T11:37:00.001-04:00

So you might ask, what has changed since 2005. Here are some of the things that changed:

I am still struggling to hold my world together, but for different reasons. I am in the process of a divorce, and those never make life simple.
I am two months from graduation (MBA)
I was so wrong about the premiere service offering -- it has helped my career, not harmed it
I am the chairperson for a global committee at my company
Our Cincinnati facility was outsourced and very few people remain
I am now a manager, instead of a grunt

So what has not changed?

Management still does not invest substantially in the development of its employees as a general rule
Advancement still comes very slowly, and in my case, barely seems to be a crawl
Because people are not able to move on and take on new challenges, inefficiencies still exist, resulting in sub-par performance and, in the case of Cincinnati, outsourcing of the functions in that office

So what new observations do I have?

My original post in 2005 was a disgruntled, semi-ignorant view of the world as I knew it. It was as much a gripe session as it was thought provoking. However, I think some observations hold true. First, I am true maverick when it comes to the work I do and manage, but I am not a maverick when it comes time to fight for my own cause (pay, title, advancement) with my management structure. At those times, I am a good little citizen who accepts whatever comes my way. This must change.

Managers most definitely like to maintain status quo -- it is easier, even if it is not the best route. This means they will, as a general rule, not promote unless they have to, not move people within the organization unless they have to, and will avoid change because of the cost associated with it, even if it is just the time cost of sitting down and investing. Status quo, by the way, is often the fastest way to sub-par performance and eventual IRIF/VRIF situations.

The stagnation and struggling of XGS, Inc. did not last several years. Two years later, XGS, Inc. is no more, and has been fairly well absorbed into the Xerox mothership. The reorganizations come approximately every 6-12 months still, though that is certainly a Xerox phenomenon anyway. Many inefficiencies remain, but they are often masked by reorganization and shifting of labor from one region to another. XGS, Inc. did do itself in, though some of us still remain. Xerox, however, is a stronger organization with the potential to really get things together if we can all attain global alignment.

What can I say at this point? Xerox, like many other large organizations (or frankly all large organizations), is not perfect, and has its challenges, strengths, and weaknesses. As a whole, I feel that Xerox is a very strong organization with the opportunity to be a real competitor. My division's weakness is the seeming unwillingness to cooperate and drive efficiency and process improvement, despite the fact that we are a Lean Six Sigma house. My challenge, then, is to become a voice for the change and improvement, and help drive it home. So far, I feel I have done an exceptional job at that. Now it is time for some formal recognition, which of course means I need to do it a few more times. How my future turns out is highly dependent upon my perspective today, my goals, my vision, and my ability to deliver. Pizza anyone?

Organizational Confusion, Inefficiency and Struggle

2007-03-25T11:19:00.001-04:00

This posting is a re-posting of a post made two years ago on my LiveJournal blog. As I am taking that down, I am transferring some of the old posts to here. However, I find that the situation I was experiencing then is not so different than what I am experiencing now.

One semester down, several to go. Xavier is certainly a challenging program to study my MBA at. Definitely, 11 credits was too many to take in my first semester. This summer already feels a little more relaxing, even though it is not by much.

I have tried thus far to make my journal thought provoking and interesting. I have no idea whether I have succeeded or not. I have enjoyed writing the posts I have written so far. I find though, at this point that perhaps my journal should also include some personal experiences, which it really has not to this point. Why I am going out of my way to explain this, I am not sure, but I felt that it was an important thing to do.

I am struggling to hold my world together. Work has become more demanding, and more challenging in terms of time constraints, but does not seem to be becoming the more well-rounded experience I would have hoped it would as I have proceeded in my studies. Much of what I do is the same old, same old. As I seek out new challenges and opportunities, doors seem to be only cracked, not opened. I do not think that management is strongly focused on advancing me or any of the other employees in my branch. I am not clear on whether this is a function of the state of the business, or an apathy towards the development and advancement of employees. I do know that a number of other employees also seek advancement, and they definitely find the doors slammed closed in their faces.

What concerns me is this: in today's business setting, what makes a company successful and viable is the human talent and resources it possesses. Anymore, an organization cannot simply hire any warm body and hope to succeed. Employees need to be valued, developed, and advanced along their careers. Talent is not inherent in all people, and an affinity towards certain job functions definitely is hard to develop. Some people are really into finance, but most are not. Some people really show talent in technology fields, others do not. Yet, organizations seem to be relatively ineffective at matching up talent with job function, at matching up career path with employee career goals. This would seem to be one of the most important functions within the organization, and yet this strategic function is often low on the list of priorities.

I currently work on one of our premiere service offerings. I definitely have a talent at it, and am a hard worker. Yet it does not align with my career goal, except in the fact that it gives me experience in an area I would enjoy managing. Will the management opportunity ever appear? Who knows. This is the dilemma I struggle with. Other people have untapped talents and would be very interested in entering into this service area, but are blocked because the company does not want to release them from their current function. Why? Because managers do not like change, and do not like to replace good workers with unknown variables. The problem is, the organization will lose that employee eventually anyway, because they will find work elsewhere doing something they enjoy. Why not keep that talent in-house? This confuses me.

I spent many years studying the behaviors and decisions of managers around me, always tempered with the perspective of learning from what they do, what their successes are, and what their failures are. I continued that study as I began and finished my Bachelor's degree. Now I am progressing through my MBA, and I struggle because I feel I have learned a lot from these managers, but have failed to move onward in my career despite my extensive experience and knowledge. Is it a personality defect that holds me back? Unlikely. I think it is the status quo, and the determination of ineffective managers trying to maintain it even when it is not in the best interests of the business.

I am a complete maverick. I break the rules, I rock the boat. I say the things that others will not say, I do the things that others will not do. Out of this maverick behavior, I have had many recognized successes. I am, by all accounts, a valued employee. Yet I think managers fear that, with power, I will disrupt their status quo and shake their world up. Surprise surprise, I would definitely seek to do that, within reason. My most hated phrase in business is "We've always done it that way." Why? Because it lacks the committment to total quality and continual improvement that all organizations, whether for or not for profit, should have.

I think the end result is that my employer will ultimately stagnate and struggle for many years, and may go through a number of reorganizations and downsizings, before the mother organization wipes out the remaining vestiges of the former organization and makes us simply another branch of the mother organization. I see a future where XGS, Inc. becomes simply Xerox, and our prior ineffectiveness gets brought into the ineffective Xerox whole. While I do not think that Xerox is in a downward spiral, I do feel that it has a long way to go to be able to effectively compete in its various markets. I think what has held Xerox up for so long is the constant innovation and development of new core competencies out of which it can charge premium prices to make up for its ineffective pricing on mature services and products. However, that can only get you so far. Innovation is good, but without sustainable business practices and efficient processes and policies, an organization will become bloated and cost heavy, and unable to compete in a global marketplace.

So, I wait. I hope that before I complete my MBA opportunities will arise that will allow me to advance within Xerox. But that hope may be an empty hope. What the future holds is uncertain and vague. However, armed with experience and an MBA, I should be able to kick down some doors elsewhere and find an opportunity that I will find challenging and fulfilling. One can only hope, dream, and work hard I suppose.

More Nightime Musings - King Arthur, Trust, and Romance

2007-03-25T04:22:00.001-04:00

Of all the times to be up late. This has been one hell of an evening. I had a really unexpected, but good, talk with a new friend, and I renewed a friendship with two old friends. I seem to be doing a lot of chasing around these days, trying to meet new people and renew friendships, with mixed and unusual results. But, I suppose that is a sign of the times -- nothing stays constant, right?

So here's the deal. It's very easy to flirt and attract someone's attention. It's very difficult to maintain it and develop it into a real relationship, be it as a friendship, a romance, or a business relationship. It's hard these days to get people to invest in a relationship, regardless of age, gender, or social status. People are generally distrustful, selfish, and unwilling to open up and share who they are with another. Building trust is not as simple as just "trusting" someone, you have to invest, you have to prove yourself to another, you have to be man or woman enough to trust first without proof that the other is worthy.

I read a good book about virtual leadership that dealt with trust. It defined several behaviors that will build trust, and used examples from King Arthur's time as symbols of types of trusting activities. The book is Virtual Leadership: Secrets from the Round Table for the Multi-Site Manager by Jaclyn Kostner, Ph.D. I highly recommend this book, but the following examples help summarize Kostner's approach:

Excalibur - in the shape of a T, Excalibur is to remind us not of might and power, but of trust. It takes a stronger, more powerful leader to set down the sword than to pick it up.
The Round Table - a symbolic reminder of the necessary communication that trust is built on
Mentoring - mentoring builds trust through the sharing of knowledge
Championing - championing the cause of another builds trust because it shows investment in the individual being championed
Vision - common vision builds trust and cooperation between individuals

So how do you apply that to a romantic relationship? In much the same way. Excalibur holds true in a romantic relationship, in that might and power have no business in a romantic relationship -- it should be a common collaborative relationship. The Round Table also applies, as communication is key to any strong relationship, be it romantic or otherwise. Mentoring, or teaching the other about ourselves, is a strong way to foster and develop a common understanding. Championing, or taking up the other's cause, can apply in a relationship via support for the other's challenges and problems. And finally, Vision is important in that it is a shared perspective on the future plans and dreams of the couple.

Be it friendship or romantic relationship or business relationship, these five concepts are useful, practical, and show where we clearly go wrong in our interpersonal relationships. All too often we become selfish and see things only through our own eyes, without looking to see the other's viewpoint. We fight for our own cause, but fail to provide adequate support to our friends, and our loves. We miscommunicate regularly, resulting in gaps, or chasms, between us. All of this is able to be fixed, but we have to want to invest. Willingness and desire to invest are perhaps the biggest key to all of this -- you have to want it.

So where do I fall in all of this? I would say I struggle with Excalibur -- the sword feels too comfortable in my hands sometimes, particularly at work. The Round Table is an area of strength for me, though I struggle, as a technogeek, to be understood. Mentoring is something I am good at, even with the unwilling mentee. It just takes time. Championing is perhaps an area of struggle, in that it is easier to fight my own cause, and I have been guided for so many years to be clear about not including others perspectives/commitment to the cause without first ensuring that they are in fact committed. And finally Vision -- I can build a common vision, but it does take time, and it requires the foundation of the first four categories before the vision can take hold.

I am making this post and leaving this mark on my own personal history tonight as a means of being able to come back and remember this evening. Tonight I learned more about who I am, and who I want to be. Mostly, who I am is who I want to be, minus a couple of tweaks. At any rate, here is my bookmark, to remind me of a truly unusual evening that lasted into the wee hours of the morning.

Midnight Musings

2005-03-19T01:25:00.000-05:00

So I observed something. I observed that, for some unknown reason, most bloggers state in their first post "this is my first blog" or "this is my first post to my blog" -- even I seem to be guilty of that.

I also observed that many personal blogs are self-serving -- including my own. Why not? It's a free opportunity to say anything we want about anything at all. What I find interesting though, is most people are really superficial about what they post. High school games mostly, crabbing about who likes who, who doesn't like who, petty ante stuff.

Why is it exactly that we can't be "real" with each other? Why is everything a cheap little high school game? Why can't spouses deal with each other at an open and honest level?

I also don't understand the obsessive need to be "right" and "justified." My wife and I have had a number of fights over the years, and most of them boil down to one or the other of us having to be "right." Of course, as the man, I'm never right, but that's beside the point. However, even the times I'm not trying to be "right", but just achieve some recognition of a point, she turns it around on me and tries to force me into being "wrong." If the argument is about the cleanliness of the house, it's my fault for not picking it up, or for me dumping things, she never contributes to the mess.

Why are we so irresponsible about taking responsibility for our behavior? Why are we so blind to it that we try to construe our own behavior as acceptable, while turning someone else's perfectly acceptable behavior into something twisted and wrong? Furthermore, why do I have to be sensitive to other people's feelings when they are so insensitive to mine? It's okay for someone else to make a fat joke, but god forbid if I look at someone the wrong way.

I'm taking a class called Interpersonal Skills. Some of my classmates don't see the value in the class. I see the value, but what I don't understand is, why am I taking this class when so many others won't? I mean, sure, I have higher goals for my life and career than maybe some other people do. But still, why is that responsibility solely on my shoulders?

Yeah, this is a whiny, selfish post. Shit happens. But the thing is, as humans, we all have some of these feelings I've described above. Yet despite that, we are really, really insensitive to others. We are really, horribly, selfish beings, and most of us will never even acknowledge that fact, much less do anything about it.

Reason #256 why I barely post to my blog: I don't have the time to focus on myself to be whiney and bitchy about other people in a medium such as this.

First Blog

2004-12-10T22:09:00.000-05:00

Well, time for my first blog. Last night, at 23:12, I completed my bachelor's degree. What a relief! After 12 years, I'm finally done and do not need to look back. I also go the news that I will be accepted to Xavier's MBA program for January 2005. Two more years of hard study and work.

I also recently accepted the invitation to be a table leader for the Cincinnati Chrysalis Boy's walk in January 2005. I really look forward to the opportunity to be a part of this spiritual effort. I was on Boy's Walk #10 in Piqua, OH, Table of the Dirty Half-Dozen. It was a great experience in my youth, and it's a special event that I want to pass on to others.

Today was a rough day though. My meezer Chip ended up at the pet hospital. He has become very ill and very dehydrated, and the vet was not sure what he had. He will be there for two days, and hopefully will begin to recover. My fear is that he has picked up an expensive or terminal illness that will be impossible for us to take care of for him. I really do not want to lose my boy, so I am praying and hoping he will pull through okay. In the meantime, I will be keeping a close watch on my other kitties to make sure they do not develop the same symptoms.